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I cannot unspeak.

I cannot unhear.

I cannot unsee.

I cannot unfeel.

I cannot unthink.

I cannot undo my past.

The memories of my sin sometimes clutter my mind like charred logs of a forest fire. Tripping me. Trapping me. Trying to transport me to where I once lived, these statues of selfishness cut down by the fire of holy forgiveness.

These dead black hulks create a maze of regret and remorse, of pain that punctures the present from the past — seared spears hurled by the evil one who fostered their growth — detracting from the Divine.

My heart knows they are more than dead, lifeless and limbless. My mind cannot put my sins as far as the East is from the West, nor bury them in the deepest sea, nor choose to remember them no more. My eyes are yet incapable of that holiest view, which sees me trekking paths of new growth while pursued by goodness and mercy.

Respite comes, finally, when looking up only into the hills for help and seeing the sacredness that surrounds and leads me. No traitorous trunks of trespass at all, none. They are not covered. They are washed away by righteous rain — a flood of forgiveness that carried them, that buried them, into a bottomless sea.

In Psalm 103:12, God promises to put our sins as far away as the East is from the West. In Micah 7:19, God states that he will again have compassion on us, overpower our sins, and hurl them into the deepest ocean. And in Hebrews 8:12, God promises to show mercy and actually forget our sins, remembering them no more.

Therefore, I will not live in that dead depression but will dance in God’s garden of grace and make merry in his mercy. No stumbling block from the past will stall my present nor prevent my progress. Paths of righteousness are mine, created for me, designed to carry me away from maleficent memories and on to truthful treasures.

I choose the reality of forgiveness from a loving Father, and to live alongside my Savior and Brother, whose selflessness put upon me His righteous robe.

One day this faith will be sight.Hasten, that glorious day.

PRAYER

Thank you, Jesus, for bearing the burden of my sin at Calvary. At times when I feel trapped by the unpleasant memories of my spiritual history, remind me that the sins of my past are just that, history, unremembered history. Amen.

Norm Miller can be reached at nmiller@montanacc.edu