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I read a quote recently that was a reminder that the term “culture” often means not only the behavior of a group but also the rationale for that behavior. The great baseball player Shohei Ohani very recently revealed that he is married. The announcement came as a complete surprise to his fans and even his teammates here. No one knew he had a special girlfriend, had no idea he was even contemplating marriage. The American media was bewildered and wanted to know why such a thing had been kept a secret. In our culture every nuance of a celebrity’s life is subject to intense public scrutiny, comment, and judgment. Occasionally, celebrities here will, for security reasons, try to keep news and pictures of their children out of the media, but even that is the exception.

When asked about why he would keep such a thing private, Ohani said, “I like to live in peace. I think having a peaceful soul is better than anything.”

In American culture such an attitude is almost anathema. Celebrities here seek constant attention. P.T. Barnum once said, “There’s no such thing as bad publicity.” The more attention the better if your goal in life is to accumulate more fame and money.

If we reflect on the culture in which most of us were raised, we realize culture is malleable, it changes.

I remember being told, in the hushed tones reserved for grievous sins, about a relative’s divorce. Of course, the relative was completely exonerated in the next breath. Drinking alcohol was so close to sinfulness that even a cold beer on a hot day was spoken of as being at least sin-adjacent. Gambling was a gateway to hell and to be completely avoided.

The rationale for these cultural norms was, invariably, found in some Bible verse. Later in life, I discovered the meaning of some verses had been twisted out of shape to justify the belief. Religion was adjusted to rationalize the approved behavior of the culture, still is.

That does not mean it’s illogical to teach our children what the appropriate do’s and don’ts of our culture are. What it should teach us, is not to judge others who come from different cultural backgrounds. I have been told that various groups of people are “bad” for a variety of reasons but, when I’ve gotten to know those “bad” people, found that they were absolutely delightful and not very different than anyone else.

Almost all of us want the same things, we want peace, we want to love and be loved, we want laughter, good food, entertainment, sleep. We could each name a few other things that we would like but it all comes down to what Ohani said, “…a peaceful soul is better than anything.”

I’m sure that concept is more to be found in older folks in our culture but I wish we would teach it to younger folks here. Cultivating inner peace is a goal devoutly to be wished, regardless of age.